After the operation

Physio hell

Hi everyone. So this is gonna be a bit different. I'm using a third party platform that does speech to text to write this because I can't really see or read very well at the moment. So this substack is going to read probably very strangely.

And it'll have loads of mistakes in it but such as life. So it's been nearly three weeks since the operation is it's been a hell of a three weeks. The build up to the operation was awful. And then the day of the operation finally arrived. I didn't sleep all night, obviously.

We woke up at 6am and we're in hospital for 7am, met lots and lots of staff who asked the same questions over and over again. Find out I have at least a team of 12 working on removing my tumor. And then I walked through to the operating theatre. Three anaesthetists were there already putting me out and then off we went.

I don't really remember waking up that day or the next few days to be honest with you. Everything's a bit of a blur. I remember being in ICU for a little bit, and then be moved to a ward with three other women to recover for a couple of days. And that was that was a challenge. One woman opposite me had had a very serious operation and to be constantly monitored, and regularly resuscitated. She struggled to breathe. The woman next to me had her phone removed because her husband kept calling her all the time and messaging her all the time about what to do with the kids. Apparently she'd written a booklet for him but I don't know if he was reading it or not.

And I had a lot a lot of cannulas in me. At one point, I had five cannulas in my body. And each cannula was a super cannula which means that they could connect multiple lines at the same time. So I had normally about three or four drips in me at any one time. And the alarms would regularly go off to let nurses and doctors know when medication have finished or if there was an issue. And sometimes they would go off for hours in the middle of the night. And no one would come, that was awful.

I've had plenty of CT scans on the other side. A neurosurgical doctor got very excited when she met me going on about how massive the tumor was. One of the neurosurgeons mentioned it was larger and more extensive than expected. More bone has been removed as a result. Half my forehead has gone. I run my finger over my head and the dips come suddenly. Immediately after the operation my face swelled hugely. Poke a finger and the softness gave gently, leaving it far too long before it hit a hard surface. As the swelling goes, I can see where the bone has been removed.

My hair has been cut right back. Blood and cerebral fluids make one hell of a product. My hair stood on end for days. It was matted and bloodied and I couldn't wash it. Should've had it cut off before I went in. The matts developed sores on my head where it went to the scalp. No brushing either. There is a freedom that comes with cutting off all your hair, and my head could finally start healing.

The big one has been my eye. It got infected and decided to turn itself inside out. Infection has now gone. Eye muscles are damaged and right eye has decided to choose its own adventure which means I have vision issues now. And balance. Hopefully it'll come back to normal in time.

In time, everything is going to take time. It can't be pushed or rushed. Doctors expect it to be a couple of months before my eye is back to normal. My balance and walking might take a few months to get back to normal. I have a lot of physio exercises, a lot. I get tired.

I'm tired now. This is my brain dump for now. It probably makes no sense. Will do again when I'm able.

Claire x