I'm back!

And so is the tumour.

You know the feeling when the light seems to be at the end of the tunnel? When all your hard work and slogging finally seems to be coming to an end?

Well, I've had that feeling for a while, was getting a little too smug apparently, as the tumour decided to reappear again.

Ugh.

This year has been a bloody struggle but I've been so determined to get better. Doing my physiotherapy regularly, getting out and about a bit more, seeing lovely friends, and even had a few days out of the city.

But the other side has been chronic migraines, fatigue and regular swelling across my head and face. I've had scans and lots of doctor visits but the source hasn't been found yet. And then the results of the scans have come in and the little shite is still there.

It's been gut wrenching. Back in November, or December or February, I dunno, the neurosurgeon said he had taken out all he could see, that it was gone. It's a lot to take in and I don't know what happens next, but this journey isn't done yet.

I guess the options are more surgery, radiotherapy or watch and wait. But I don't know.

I've worked hard on my recovery, come to terms with a lot of things, like stuff I might not be able to do again, and now it seems I might have to start this recovery once more. It's exhausting to think about it.

On the plus side, I finally have the good painkillers. Only took six months. The scar has healed nicely, can hardly see it these days; my hair is growing back though the hair around the scar is more grey and feels different to my other hair.

I can mostly move my face again, still hurts to eat crisps but I'm working on it. I can read again, even play easy games on my phone though it makes my brain and eye ache after a while.

I've even caught up with things happening in tech land. I was off for six months and the world of SEO and search completely changed. Thanks AI.

I was getting back on track and now derailed a bit. The next neurosurgeon appointment has come through and some decisions will have to be made.

Again.

Anyhow, stay sane, hope you're all well, and big hugs.

Claire x